Liam ROBERT ANDREW Brown

WE HAD BEEN TRYING FOR A BABY FOR A FEW MONTHS AND WHEN WE FOUND OUT THAT I WAS EXPECTING IT WAS THE HAPPIEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE! I WAS SOOO EXCITED! THE PREGNANCY WENT REALLY WELL NO PROBLEMS AT ALL AND I WATCHED IN AMAZEMENT AS I GREW BIGGER AND BIGGER! WELL ON THE 12TH OF APRIL 07 AT EXACTLY 10AM WE FOUND OUT WE WERE EXPECTING A BABY BOY! I WAS OVER THE MOON AS I HAD SAID FROM THE MINUTE I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT I WAS HAVING A BOY AND THE NEXT DAY I RUSHED OUT TO BUY MY FIRST BLUE ITEM OF CLOTHING!WE BEGAN TO GET HIS ROOM READY AND WE HAD DECIDED ON WINNIE THE POOH! HIS NURSERY WAS ALL COMPLETE ALL WE NEEDED WAS HIM TO ARRIVE! EVERYTHING WAS WINNIE THE POOH! MY DATE GREW CLOSER AND CLOSER AND I GOT MY BAG PACKED ALL READY TO GO. THEN ON THE 22ND OF JULY 07 I BEGAN TO GET TWINGES, BABY WAS COMING!I WAS ONLY 36 WEEKS, BABY WAS COMING EARLY! I BEGAN TO GET CONTRACTIONS AND AFTER AN HOUR OR SO MY WATERS BROKE OR WHAT I THOUGHT WAS MY WATERS THEN WHEN I LOOKED DOWN I NOTICED I WAS BLEEDING. THAT WAS THE MOMENT I REALISED MY BABY BOY WAS IN DANGER!

WE CALLED AN AMBULANCE STRAIGHT AWAY AND WHEN THEY GOT TO THE HOUSE MY CONTRACTIONS HAD SLOWED RIGHT DOWN.ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL THE PARAMEDIC WAS TELLING ME HOW ITS NORMAL FOR SOME WOMEN TO GET LIKE THIS DURING LABOUR AND BEGAN TO ASK ME ABOUT NAMES AND CONVINCE ME EVERYTHING WAS ALRIGHT BUT I KNEW DEEP DOWN INSIDE SOMETHING WASNT AND I WAS RIGHT! I BEGAN TO PANIC. WE GOT TO THE HOSPITAL AROUND 1230 AND I WAS TAKEN STRAIGHT TO AN EXAMINATION ROOM AND I REMEMBER JUST LAYING THERE WITH MIDWIFES ALL AROUND ME TELLING ME HOW I WOULD BE OK AND THEN THATS WHEN THE DOCTOR CAME IN AND SCANNED MY TUMMY.I LOOKED DESPERATELY AT THE SCREEN HOPING TO SEE HIM WIGGLE LIKE HE ALWAYS DID BUT HE DIDNT HE WAS JUST STILL. I ASKED THE DOCTOR WHAT WAS WRONG ONLY TO BE IGNORED I ASKED AGAIN AND ON THE THIRD TIME I SCREAMED WHATS WRONG WITH MY BABY AS I COULD SEE MY BABY BOY WASNT MOVING AND BEGAN TO CRY THEN THE WORDS ID DREADED BECAME REAL SHE JUST TURNED OFF THE MACHINE AND LOOKED OVER AND SAID 'IM SORRY BUT UR BABY HAS DIED"
THATS WHEN THE WORLD CAME CRASHING DOWN AROUND ME! I COULD NEVER HAVE PREPARED FOR THAT MOMENT. MUCH OF THE TIME AFTER THAT WAS A BLUR ALTHOUGH FAMILY SAY THEY HEARD MY SCREAMS FROM THE WAITING AREA IM NOT QUITE SURE WHAT HAPPENED I SUPPOSE SOMETHING ARE JUST TOO PAINFUL AND THE MIND BLOCKS THEM OUT!

AFTER MAYBE AN HOUR OR SO IN THAT ROOM I WAS TAKEN TO THE DELIVERY SUITE. BY THIS POINT I HAD MY FAMILY AROUND ME AND MY LABOUR BEGAN.I WASNT READY FOR THIS MOMENT BUT I KNEW I COULDNT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! LAYING IN BED FULL OF PAIN RELIEF WITH A BROKEN HEART MY LABOUR BEGAN. I WAS CRUSHED BUT WITH THE SUPPORT OF LIAMS DADDY AN MY PARENTS I GAVE BIRTH TO MY BEAUTIFUL,PERFECT BABY BOY LIAM AT 0845 ON MONDAY THE 23RD OF JULY 2007 NOT SCREAMING NOT SQUIRMING BUT ASLEEP. SHOCK TOOK OVER AT THAT POINT AND I ASKED FOR THEM TO TAKE LIAM AWAY I JUST WASNT READY TO MEET MY LITTLE PRINCE.

ABOUT AN HOUR OR SO LATER THE MIDWIFE BROUGHT LIAM BACK THROUGH TO THE ROOM AND I GOT TO MEET MY WEE MAN. HE WAS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY.HIS TINY LITTLE HANDS AND FEET AND BEAUTIFUL DARK BROWN HAIR. HE WEIGHED 4LB EXACTLY AND HAD MUMMYS LITTLE BUTTON NOSE BUT WAS THE DOUBLE OF DADDY IN EVERY OTHER WAY! MY BODY HAD LET ME DOWN AND ID HAD A PLACENTAL ABRUPTION. THE DOCTORS SAY POOR LIAMS OXYGEN HAD BEEN CUT INSTANTLY AND HE WOULDNT HAVE BEEN IN ANY PAIN HE WOULD HAVE JUST WENT TO SLEEP.

LATER ON THE CHAPLIN CAME AND BLESSED OUR BUBA, OUR WEE LIAM ROBERT ANDREW BROWN. WE SPENT LOTS OF TIME HUGING, KISSING, TALKING AND TAKING PICTURES WITH OUR WEE MAN. IM SO THANKFUL FOR THE MEMORIES WE HAVE OF OUR BEAUTIFUL BABY AND THE TIME WE HAD TOGETHER BUT COULDNT IT JUST HAVE BEEN FOREVER!

AFTER LIAMS BIRTH I WAS QUITE ILL AND ALL I WANTED WAS TO GO HOME AND AFTER SPENDING ANOTHER NIGHT IN THE PLACE I FINALLY GOT A DOCTOR TO DISSCHARGE ME AND WE LEFT THE HOSPITAL ON THE TUESDAY EVENING WITHOUT LIAM.I WENT HOME WITH A MEMORY BOX AND SOME LEAFLETS ON HOW TO PLAN A BABYS FUNERAL AND INFORMATION ON POST MORTEMS! THE PAIN I FELT AND STILL DO WHEN I THINK OF THAT DAY IS JUST TOO MUCH TO PUT INTO WORDS! IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE THAT WAY BUT THATS THE WAY IT WAS.
WE HAD LIAM CREMATED ON THE 1ST OF AUGUST, THE DAY WE SAID GOODBYE. LATER ON IN THE YEAR ON THE 29TH OF OCTOBER WE TOOK LIAM TO A BEAUTIFUL WATER FALL OUTSIDE FORT WILLIAM AND SCATERED HIS ASHES. MY BABY BOYS BEEN LAID TO REST!

SO THATS MY STORY ITS NOW NEARLY 3 YEARS ON AND AS LIAMS BIRTHDAY APPROACHS I WILL PLAN HIS FLOWERS AND BALLOONS...ONLY WISH IT WAS TOYS! THE PAINS STILL THERE AND NOT A DAY GOES PAST I DONT THINK OF LIAM BUT ITS GETING EASIER TO LIVE WITH NOW AND IM SLOWLY LEARNING TO LOOK AT LIAMS PICTURES AND REMEMBER OUR TIME WITH SMILES AND NOT TEARS! HES HERE IN MY HEART AND IN MY MEMORY, WHERE HE WILL ALWAYS BE UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!

ELAINE